Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Smart Women

Just a short post this morning, since my new book is actually calling me. Oh, what a good feeling! And how fabulous to feel good, even for a little while.

A few days ago a very smart woman told me something that's stuck in my head. I know it may seem obvious to all of you, but please remember you're not mourning your best friend. Anyhow, Cousin Joann asked if I have plans for my upcoming birthday. The truth? No, I don't. For many reasons. I just can't get past the idea that this will be the first birthday since I was 22 that my darling man won't be making my birthday cake, singing to me or sharing my special day. It's going to be difficult, so no, I haven't made plans.

Cousin Joann understood my feelings, as I knew she would. She always understands everything. Then, she gave me the morsel of advice I've had running through my mind since we spoke. What did she say?

"It's all right if you choose to be alone on your birthday, just as long as you know you don't have to suffer."

She cut right to the heart of what I'm feeling. I miss him so much, and it seems so wrong to celebrate without him. So, I'm not going to celebrate. But, thanks to Joann, I'm not going to suffer, either. At least I'm going to try not to intentionally suffer. He would hate that. He wanted me to live, but I am sure he, too, understands that I'm just not ready to celebrate anything--not even my birthday.

The takeaway? Surround yourself with smart women. The smart women in my life are pulling me through this, and I couldn't be more grateful. I don't believe I'd be able to do any of this without them.

Thanks, Joann.

Now, to the new book. The heroine is named Lola, and I'm trying to make her as smart as she can be!

Have you had any bits of advice that have helped you lately?


Dru said...

Cousin Joann gave you good advice.

I'm lucking to also be surrounded by smart women and when I vent, the words coming from them give me what I need.

Have a good Tuesday.

Anonymous said...

Sarita it is so good to see you again. Keep your chin up. We've shared alot of birthdays. Next time we'll celebrate. Love you!!

Sue W.

Wendy said...

Ah, yes, recent advice has been good: Be present today so you don't miss what life has for you this very moment. That bit of wisdom has helped me get out of the forest so I could see the trees.

I like Cousin Joann's advice. She sounds like my kind of woman. And your birthday will hold something special, I know.

Melissa McClone said...

Great advice.

My head is too full of the book right now to remember any good advice I've received lately.

So glad the book is calling to you! Losing yourself in a story might just be the way to discover who the you you're meant to be now!

Sarita said...

I hope you had a great day, Dru.

BTW, you're one of the smart women who're helping me through this. Thank you.

Sarita said...

Sue, so good to see you too! You're right, we've been friends through a ton of birthdays. Thank goodness!

Sarita said...

Wendy, I love it that you got such good advice. You too are one of my smart women support system. Thank you!

Sarita said...

Melissa, I hope your writing is going well. And thank you for your words of wisdom. You're so right, I just may find out who I am now through my writing. It's what I'm hoping, anyway.

Look forward to reading your new book! Have a nice day!