Pocket Protocol

It's Saturday and I don't much feel like blogging about anything serious. I mean, it's the weekend, right? Shouldn't we all kick back and relax a bit on the weekend? If we lived in Australia we'd be enjoying the luxury of a three-day weekend right now, but since Monday's not a holiday in the US we've got to eek out every moment of enjoyment from the weekend we can.

So...nothing hot, heavy or serious this morning, all right?

There is, however, a topic I'd like to discuss with you. Something that's been bugging for me for quite some time. Who knows? Maybe it's been bothering you, too.

What's on my mind?

Pockets. That's it--pockets. In particular, the pocket on women's winter pajamas. I just want to know why that left breast pocket is there, on every pair of ladies' pajamas I buy. Every single pair. I've looked for nightwear without that dratted pocket but they're nearly impossible to find.

Why is that, I wonder? Is this some sort of garment maker conspiracy? A pocket plot? An attempt to drive women everywhere mad trying to find a pair of pocketless jammies?

Or, a thought that troubles me even further...is there a purpose to the breast pocket? One that I'm missing completely? And if there is actually a reason for a pocket on pajamas, why hasn't anyone told me about it? Am I the only one who's clueless about this issue?

Now that's even more disturbing! I don't want to be clueless about anything! Why haven't I been informed on the nighttime pocket protocol? Why? I pay my taxes. I'm a good, upstanding citizen. I assist the elderly, children and small animals across the street when the need arises. Why, then, am I being kept in the dark about pajama pockets?

What am I supposed to be putting in that pesky pocket? My cell phone? A pair of reading glasses? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich in case I feel a hunger pang sometime around 2am? What? Won't someone please take mercy on me and clue me in on what's supposed to fill my pajama pocket? Please?

And this was supposed to be a stress-free, easygoing blog post, wasn't it? Why, then, do I wish I'd tucked a small--

Aha! I think I might know what's supposed to go in that pajama pocket!