Skipping Out

This morning I'm going to hit and run. I hope you don't mind, but I'm trying to get my feet under me. Yesterday was "one of those days"... You know what I mean; we all have them. Just a crap day.

Fast rundown? Sure. Spent nine hours working in the yard. Actually, trying to make lots of noise because there's a woodchuck who believes the back stoop is a great place to loiter. I'm trying to scare the little bugger off because I can't have it hanging around so close to the back door, and the other options are troubling. So, I tried to bother it so it'll move.

During the day I took three unexpected fast trips backward on the hill while riding the lawn tractor. Don't even want to consider what might be wrong with the tractor, or how much it'll cost to fix it. Just glad I lived to be annoyed by the adventure.

Then, to put the cherry on the day, I drove the rabid tractor into the pool house. Really, I did. I clipped the corner and tore off the corner molding. So I ended up getting out the hammer, swearing in four languages and putting the molding back in place. Sort of. I hammered in as high as I could reach without having to get a ladder. Oh, what did I stand on to hammer the pieces into place? The lawn tractor seat. Oh yes, I did.

Like I said, a crummy day. And since I'm doing more than hitting and running, I might as well go the whole way and add the phone call.

Some idiot called last evening, obviously trying to sell something. This fool asked for my husband.

I said he wasn't available.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. May I help you?"

"I'd really like to speak with Mr. Leone."

Yeah, me too. Get in line, pal.

"He is unavailable. May I help you?"

"When will Mr. Leone be home?"

"My husband passed away. Now, really, may I help you?"

"Passed away?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, but he did."

"I don't guess he needs life insurance then, does he? Are you sure he passed away?"

Where do they get these telemarketing fools from? I hung up while this clown was still talking. I'd heard enough. Too much, actually.

So, today I'm going to work on the new book, eat ice cream and not answer the phone. I hope you have a good day. Me? I might put brownies under the ice cream, just because I can.