Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Dating for Dummies

Correct that. One dummy. To be even more precise, me. I'm the dummy in question. Just so there's no, you know, confusion.

Since about the ten-month mark I've been getting loads of loving, well-meaning friends and family giving me the talk. You know the one, the whole you're-young-and-can't-be-alone-forever chat. According to onlookers, I am supposed to be open and receptive to any man who comes my way and might interest me.

Make no one was stupid enough to hint that I could ever, ever, ever replace my sweet man. No one even came close to alluding that I would find someone even remotely as wonderful as he was. In fact, several people went so far as to say that I should be aware that no man will ever be half the man I was married to, but I should expect that and not waste my time trying to find someone as perfect. As if they had to tell me that?

Anyhow, here I am, wondering just what the hell men actually want in a relationship. I have always been under the impression that friendship, respect, compatability and, okay, a healthy dash of sexual attraction was the foundation for something between two people. Really, it's what worked in my life all these years.

Evidently, times have changed. I hear now that I'm old-fashioned, that wanting someone to be mine alone is old school. Now, everyone does everything with everyone else and apparently no one cares. And I'm supposed to go for this?


I'm beginning to understand why there are so many unattached widows in the world.

I don't ever want to get married again (I had the best, and I'm smart enough to believe that magic won't strike twice in one lifetime) but I sure as shootin' have no intention of being anyone's Monday Night Special. Thanks, but no thanks.

Me? I've only been in the dating pool for one week and already I'm feeling seasick.


Maria Zannini said...

If you're considered old fashioned, I'm willing to bet there's an old fashioned guy still out there too. We don't all change our stripes.

Anonymous said...

There is a man who will value your high standards. Don't give up, sweetie. We are all right you know. YOu are too young to be alone forever. Don't get out of hte pool yet!!!

Sue W.

Sarita said...

Maria, thank you. My stripes are way too ingrained to change. I hope things get easier. I am hopeful. Fingers crossed!

Sarita said...

Sue, you are such a rock, thank you. I have not forgotten your "talk" and am not giving up entirely. I won't leave the pool yet, I promise.

Wendy said...

Never, ever compromise! I say that knowing you never would. The people that say you can't expect to find a man with standards as high as yours are often the people who have settled for less than theirs. If you're old-fashioned, well, then there are a lot of old-fashioned people out there . . . including men. Prayin' for ya!

Mary said...

Don't compromise your standards. Keep them high and you will find someone to rise to them. Don't get out of that pool yet!

Shearer's Girl said...

I'm sorry you are feeling 'seasick'. A week isn't long. It's just a shame the first week was a bad one, not all weeks will be bad.

Anonymous said...

Hang in there. Give whatever is bugging you a chance.


sharon said...

THere are lots of loonies out there in the dating pool. Beware, sister!

But keep an open mind too. Might be a prince in the loony bin.

Dru said...

Never compromise and the right guy will come along.

Marianne Arkins said...

Monogomy is passe? Oh boy ... I'm in trouble, then, should anything happen to my DH. I won't get married again either, but like you would expect fidelity -- at least as long as we were together.

When it's the right guy, you'll know. The others? Throw 'em back -- there are plenty of other fish in the sea that won't make you sick.