Scarves, and the average-sized neck

From The Free Dictionary:

scarf 1 (skärf)
n. pl. scarfs (skärfs) or scarves (skärvz)
1. A long piece of cloth worn about the head, neck, or shoulders.
2. A decorative cloth for covering the top of a piece of furniture; a runner.
3. A sash indicating military rank.
tr.v. scarfed, scarf·ing, scarfs
1. To dress, cover, or decorate with or as if with a scarf.
2. To wrap (an outer garment) around one like a scarf.

There are other meanings, some very surprising (at least to me! Who knew scarf could have a sexual connotation? Live and learn...) and others more ordinary. I won't elaborate further here, but you can follow the link if you're interested. Me, this is the definition I need, the scarf I'm currently contending with. At odds over, actually.

You see, it's cold here in the northeast. We're fully into coat, hat, glove and scarf season. But I confess, I have a problem. My neck isn't long enough to comfortably accomodate a scarf. Now don't get the wrong impression! I assure you, I have an average-sized neck. It's these scarves! Has anyone noticed just how fat they are? How on earth am I supposed to wrap one of these gigantic things around my neck without feeling smothered?

I'm not. I refuse to be consumed by a length of fabric. I must be the only one rebelling against the wide scarf issue, or WSI as I like to call it, because everywhere I go I see people wrapped, bundled, swathed (and probably half-strangled!) by scarves of every color. I can't do it. I just can't do it, I tell you. It'll be a cold day in, well, you know where, before I allow an article of clothing to separate my head from my body or smother me while I walk from house to car. Nope, I can't do it.

If you're in my neck of the woods, I hope you take a moment to say hi. I'll be the one with the frozen, unwrapped neck.