Dating for Dummies

Correct that. One dummy. To be even more precise, me. I'm the dummy in question. Just so there's no, you know, confusion.

Since about the ten-month mark I've been getting loads of loving, well-meaning friends and family giving me the talk. You know the one, the whole you're-young-and-can't-be-alone-forever chat. According to onlookers, I am supposed to be open and receptive to any man who comes my way and might interest me.

Make no mistake...no one was stupid enough to hint that I could ever, ever, ever replace my sweet man. No one even came close to alluding that I would find someone even remotely as wonderful as he was. In fact, several people went so far as to say that I should be aware that no man will ever be half the man I was married to, but I should expect that and not waste my time trying to find someone as perfect. As if they had to tell me that?

Anyhow, here I am, wondering just what the hell men actually want in a relationship. I have always been under the impression that friendship, respect, compatability and, okay, a healthy dash of sexual attraction was the foundation for something between two people. Really, it's what worked in my life all these years.

Evidently, times have changed. I hear now that I'm old-fashioned, that wanting someone to be mine alone is old school. Now, everyone does everything with everyone else and apparently no one cares. And I'm supposed to go for this?

Baloney!

I'm beginning to understand why there are so many unattached widows in the world.

I don't ever want to get married again (I had the best, and I'm smart enough to believe that magic won't strike twice in one lifetime) but I sure as shootin' have no intention of being anyone's Monday Night Special. Thanks, but no thanks.

Me? I've only been in the dating pool for one week and already I'm feeling seasick.