A Bialy a Day...

...keeps the doctor away...?

I don't know if it does or not, but I do have a funny bialy story to share. It will show that I'm not the sharpest crayon in the box, but I don't care. We're giggling about it here, and I think it may bring a chuckle to lighten your day, so I'm going to share.

You know we live in the middle of nowhere, right? We're more likely to trip over farm boots than find a decent baked good around here. So, given the fact that my husband adores Italian cookies, I import them.

Thank God for Fed Ex.

A few days ago I called an Italian bakery in Brooklyn. I placed an order for Italian cookies. Then, I made my mistake. I made a request for one of my husband's favorite foods. I asked for bialys.

The lady at the bakery fell silent. I could hear customers in the store, ordering canolis and bread.

Finally I was informed, in a chilly tone of voice, that they don't sell bialys.

Yesterday the box of cookies arrived. My husband grinned from ear to ear when he opened the package. And, as I knew he would, the first cookie he chose was one of those seven-layer colored cookies with chocolate icing. My heart filled when I saw how happy he was.

After I got a couple of glasses of milk, I sat down with him and told him that I'd tried to buy bialys, too, but that the bakery lady shot me down cold.

He fell silent, just as the bakery woman had. Then, he laughed. Hard.

Me? Clueless. Absolutely no idea what was so funny. Loved it that he was so amused, but completely in the dark over the reason.

Evidently the joke is on me.

Italian bakeries don't generally sell bialys. Apparently I'll have to find a Jewish bakery for that.

Who knew?

Greener Grass?

I can't resist. My friend Judy in Australia sent this joke and I've been grinning ever since I read it. I don't know why, it's really not that funny but it pushes my buttons. Let's see if it pushes yours, too...

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

"Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman, without any say about it...

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, the n drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the check book.

He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied,"My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.

You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."

Thanks Jude! :)