Yes, it's me. I am...

...the old dog. I'm not ashamed to say it. Every day we're older than  yesterday, and tomorrow will be older still. The dog thing?

Ah, dog, schmog!

So, what are the new tricks I've been learning?

A bunch...but only a few I'll admit to here.

1. The gnarly lumps on the plum trees? Totally not normal. Not good. Not ignorable. (Ignorable? Is that even a word?) They're called 'Black Knot' and need to be addressed. I've been addressing them, all right...and it hasn't been politely, either.

So, the trick? How to climb a plum tree and divest it of its black knots.

2. Second old dog trick? No matter how many times the first three chapters of a new book are scanned, read, re-read, absorbed, re-absorbed--there will be at least one (or three, but who's counting?) obvious errors.

The trick? After reading the partial a bazillion times, hand the sucker off to a fresh reader who will pick out the one (three) oddities in a heartbeat. The trick is not to get too crazy about the process before tossing the file along.

3. The third trick also has to do with not getting too insane over a silly thing. For instance...if a nice man walks across your freshly mopped floors--just take a deep breath and smile. That's a hard trick to master, especially if you're clean-floor possessed, but it's worth learning. After all, what's a grassy floor between friends?

There you have it. The new tricks I've learned this week. What about you? Any old dog tricks you'd care to cop to? C'mon, you know you want to, so spill it. You're among friends!